Dating two months after break up
Every visit, I’d leave not sure if I wanted to be with this person but as soon as I’d come home loneliness and nostalgia set in and suddenly I’m thinking “Well, it’s probably not as bad as all that. As much as I’m a non-confrontational person, I’ve tried to do some prodding about these issues, and I’ve been met with firm resistance. I don’t enjoy our time together in person, but maybe I just need to get used to it? Staying with her is easier, and safer, and better (so I tell myself). If I break things off now, I will have been wasting her time, for years.I can deal with this.” Even though I KNOW THIS IS TOTALLY INSANE. She does NOT think she should have to change for my sake. There’s still that person I’ve been talking to on the internet, right? She’ll feel betrayed, furious, devastated, and the thought of that makes me feel physically ill.Sure, every once in a while you’ll run into a thundering assbeast who casts people aside like used Kleenex, but However necessary the break up may be, years of experience and pop culture have taught us that the person doing the dumping is the bad guy.They’re the ones who aren’t invested enough, who break promises, who don’t care enough to make it work or aren’t strong enough to make it through the rough patches.
The problem is example of why it’s so hard to break up with someone, even when you know it needs to happen, laid out in pure text. Our brains are very good at throwing roadblocks in our way and making us talk ourselves out of doing what we know we need to do.
The good news is that once you recognize these stalling tactics for what they are, you can learn to overcome them.
Here are some of the ways you make it so much harder to break up with someone… I’ll try to keep this concise, but I doubt it will wind up that way.
One of the most perverse aspects of being human is how hard we fight against our own best interests.
Our brains are prone to a host of psychological effects and fallacies that convince us that we damn good and well that I needed to break up with my girlfriend – for years longer than I should have.